It's a conundrum !!!

Conundrum:

1. a riddle - especially one with a pun in its answer
2. a hard or puzzling question

[16th c. - origin unknown]


I love the sound of that word: Conundrum...
Pronounced in the clearest Queens English it is a beautiful word...


According to The Concise Oxford Dictionary it is traceable back to the 16th century - but its origins are unknown... Now, that is a Conundrum!

I hate Mondays! - Garfield

Today has been a weird day!
I don't really know whether it's been a good or a bad day and I hate such days!
I've had a hard time smiling, even when it comes to the professional work-smile...
And I've felt like crying all the time - for absolutely no reason at all!
So I'm finishing the day with reading 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens - just a couple of pages, so no reason to get worried ;-) while watching Red October on DVD. All the while reminiscing about a table to slide under and a small handful of nerds playing some weird game on DC.
Funny how ones mood can change in a split second :-D
Good night, don't let the bedbugs bite...

For those of you who might be wondering...

First, I sincerely apologize! I have not been especially stabile about publishing on my blog and I know that I promised...

I now have a job and I hate it! But it pays the rent and brings food on the table...
So I get up every morning at 5am and work until 3pm, then I go home and for about an hour I try to get my apartment to look like somewhere someone would like to live... At 8pm I get ready for bed and it all starts over...

So as you will probably be able to understand, I am not the most inspired person these days, when it comes to writing or publishing news on my blog.

I truly hope that you can all forgive me - I do think of each and every one of you every day!
Love you all and send you a huge hug each ;-)

The Bolshoi Ballet - a once in a lifetime experience

The Bolshoi Ballet hasn't been on tour for about 50 years, so when I saw the add in the newpapers - this was sometime in May or June, I think - I simply went ballistic!
Not in my wildest imagination had I ever thought that the Bolshoi would ever come to Denmark and that I would have a chance to experience them first hand!
So I made a vow to myself; whatever the cost - I was SO going to see them perform!

The Danish Royal Theater opened for ticket sales on August 14th at 10am and at that time I was literally glued to my computer - kept being denied access since the run on DRT's server was constantly busy. Panic slowly creeping up on me, stubbornness stayed my hand and I kept on trying to get access. Finally, at around 11am, I was granted access and 5 minutes later I was the happy owner of 2 rather expensive tickets to the Bolshoi Ballet on September 8th - they would be performing Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. Called my mother who was to accompany me on the second ticket and told her the date and time and that we would be sitting on first balcony, 3rd row - excellent seats according to the theaters seating plan.

The waiting period from August 14th to September 8th felt like hell to get through!
What if I became ill or if something happened like me breaking a leg or something - I was determined that NOTHING should keep me away, even if it meant me going in a wheel chair.

The day finally arrived and my stomach was acting up - queasy feeling of having to sick up and feeling warm and dizzy - totally unable to sit down and relax for as much as 5 minutes.
We went to have dinner at an Italian restaurant - very nice food, but I can't remember what I ate - then at 7.15pm we took a taxi to the new Opera House.
First time I have ever been there - but not the last, I hope - beautiful architecture, loads of various types of marble, glass and steel - very sterile.

At last the bell rang and we entered to find our seats - darkness enveloped us.

To be continued...

Weird realizations during another sleepless night

Okay, so it's been another one of those nights where sleep has eluded me completely. Honestly, I do begin to feel a bit knackered now, but I came across some weird realizations during the night and just thought I would get them out of my system.

1) Have you ever noticed how, when you put your hands together, they are not quite the same size!? In my case my left hand is a little bigger than my right hand and the fingers on my left hand are a little longer than those on the right hand. However, the same is not the case with ones feet...

2) Have you ever noticed just how silent an appartment building is during the night!? It's been so quiet and silent here that I have even been able to hear my left side neighbour cough in her sleep and those below me making serious love - I turned on some music (not too loud, though, since I wanted to be able to hear my own thoughts). Hmm, I can see how some might percieve this, but I honestly detest being involuntarily involved in other peoples private lives and love-making is considerably private!

3) How about listening to the wind outside!? It has a kind of momentous aggression to it when one listens to it in the still of the night. The way it howls and groans and moans in its constant search for... for what!?

4) How there's never anything worth watching on tele after midnight!? Kinda reminds me of why I have been so stubborn about getting a tv again. Only stupid re-runs and reality shows, yikes!

5) How moss grows on ones teeth during the early morning hours when day breaks outside!? And not just in the early morning hours - but I have already brushed my teeth several times during the night and will have to do it again before I turn in.

6) How annoying the sound of other peoples alarm clocks are and how they are also the kind of people to snooze the alarms 3-4 times before actually getting out of bed!? He, somehow it's rather comforting to know that I am not the only one...

7) How, during the night, ones bladder seems to be in a weakened state so that one must rush several times to the bathroom. Which in itself might not be surprising when I consider the masses of tea I have been drinking during the night...

8) How a simple game of strategy on the computer seems to have an extra special touch to it when it's played during the night... He... So nice to totally disappear into another completely unreal world for a couple of hours...

All in all the conclusion must be that the brain goes on stand-by during the night-hours, regardless of whether you're awake or not... And that simply based on a pressing thought that none of my weird realizations are in fact worth while...

Fanatic
Definition; a person filled with excessive and often misguided enthusiasm for something

There's this friend of mine. It's a female and her name is... Well, let's call her 'Tatlim' - that way, she and I will know and everyone else can only guess...

Tatlim is a beautiful woman and she is one of the most vivacious women, I have ever known, but at the same time she is a woman consumed with terrible doubts. She is very capable in general with an exceptional entusiasm for learning/seeing new things/places. She is one of those people, who gets high on life itself, who simply doesn't need any other stimuli than simply to live.
Uh, she really hates early mornings, though, one can tell when she is a bit grumpy, but she will still look at you and send you such a sweet smile, that for a brief moment in time, you feel as though you're the only existance she cares about.

However, I would still use the term 'fanatic' when I describe Tatlim and that has to do with the terrible doubts I have mentioned she is consumed with at times.
You see, Tatlim is one of those people who backtracks on conversations constantly. She will go through a conversation in her head over and over and over again, trying to ascertain what was unspoken in that conversation, trying to ascertain whether or not the inflictions in tone of voice was covering something up, trying to ascertain whether or not the other person was true, honest and forthcoming or was holding back. In short, always seeking the hidden conversation within the conversation.

To be continued anon...

Revenge vs. Vengeance
Definition of Revenge: retaliation for an offence or injury
Definition of Vengeance: punishment inflicted or retribution exacted for wrong to oneself

So I suppose that in a way Samuel Johnson was quite right when he said; "Revenge is the act of passion, vengeance is an act of justice" and so was Robert F. Kennedy when he said; "Don't get mad, get even" which is a more popular way of saying the exact same thing.

In essence both the quotes are telling you to put aside your feelings and instead let your logic guide you to emotional satisfaction/retribution. Not an easy feat for a human being, though, since human beings are mostly prone to let themselves be guided by feelings and instinct.

There is a certain person whom I have hated and wished revenge upon at a certain time in my life. I just chatted with that certain person today, which is probably why I am now writing this. This person spurned me after 8 years of being together on and off and for a long time I had the hardest time coping with feelings of hatred and bitterness towards that person.

Then came The Corrs with their CD "Forgiven, Not Forgotten" and after hearing that particular melody "Forgiven Not Forgotten", it dawned on me that I could spend a whole lifetime hating this certain person - thereby wasting my life and energy on negative thoughts.
Then I came across a quote by Francis Bacon who said; "In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior" and hence made the decision that although it would be hard to forget this certain person, I would do my best to make it so and get on with my life - and make it a good life.

I succeeded in getting on with my life and it definitely has become a good one and on top of that, today I realized that this certain person no longer mattered to me or made anything move inside me. This certain person who had once been the center of my life, the beginning and end of everything, was an absolute non-entity. Oh, I enjoyed chatting with this certain person, even when the conversation turned towards more dangerous topics, but I felt no stirrings of the heated passions of bygone times. It was enjoyable simply because this certain person is intelligent and witty and has a great sense of humor.
And realizing that also made me realize that unknowingly I had actually had the best vengeance of all; this certain person had seized to be of any importance to me.

My favorite love poem


Love's philosophy
(Percy B. Shelly)

The fountains mingle with the river
and the rivers with the ocean,
the winds of heaven mix forever
with a sweet emotion;
nothing in the world is single;
all things by a law divine
in one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven
and the waves clasp one another;
no sister-flower would be forgiven
if it disdained its brother;
and the sunlight clasps the earth
and the moonbeam kiss the sea;
what is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

My Turkish tatlim - with the angelic patience ;-)

Somebody went ballistic on me. Seems that having a blog creates obligations in the way of hurrying to post writings - not so much caring about what is actually written as for something/anything to be written.
The impetuousness of the wee'ns can at times be near unbearable *wink*
Anyhow; first writing and a cutie hello to my little tatlim who sat there for a whole evening waiting for some writing to be published - patience of an angel *wink*
More will come later - when the Muse herself has whispered in my ears *giant wink*